Come on machos, get to work!

22 days a year, girls!! That’s how much more time we spend on domestic chores than men. Come on machos, get to work!

22 days a year, girls!! That’s how much more time we spend on domestic chores than men: can you imagine what we could do with all that time?

We still have to get our machos into the kitchen! Here is a selection of typical macho men and our practical, but not magical advice on how to turn them into perfect homemakers… enjoy the laugh!

Mr Incompetent: the poor thing doesn’t know how… and he tells you so. You do everything better: the machines, the dinner, the housework! Before you win this year’s best housekeeping prize, it is time to take action and plan some intensive training sessions for your macho man: flexing and extending his finger to press the start button on the machine, doing some squats to get the bucket out for under the sink.

Breaking up the tasks will show him that he is in fact capable after all! And if he refuses the challenge? Be intransigent: one machine for you, one machine for him… Unless he goes out and buys new shirts (and this humble blogger has witnessed that. I know, it’s bad), he won’t hold out for long.

Mr Complacent: he works longer hours than you and has an extra zero on his payslip. It’s normal – he is so much more intelligent, charismatic, decisive (take your pick, or tick all the boxes). Therefore, it is perfectly normal that you spend more time on the domestic chores…

We advise acting under cover: one good habit takes 7 weeks to put into place. Choose a mini-task for him to do and repeat it every day; seeing as your macho man is so efficient, after 7 weeks he won’t even remember that he didn’t do it before. Now all you need to do is slip him a second one… in one year you will have the perfect husband!

Mr Lazy: He arrives home with a “Whassfordinner?” and sinks into the sofa sighing “I’m worn out!” Of course after the shopping and the kids, you’re not tired at all!

Change his diet: ginseng, matcha tea, vitamin C and iron! Nothing? Adopt his attitude: you’re worn out too. So, the children don’t get washed, the dinner isn’t ready and the house isn’t clean… and you are beside him on the sofa, sighing, while the pizza boxes pile up around you. Your children will be delighted: no baths, no homework and junk food for dinner every evening!

The genuine Macho Man: you are a woman and therefore you take care of the house. In any case, you’re hysterical, ruled by your hormones (which reminds me of an interesting little conversation with a secret macho I bumped into this week) and your place is in the kitchen.

Well, we can’t really offer any advice in this case… unless you want to demonstrate that you can get up to all sorts of interesting activities in the kitchen!

Do you have a macho of your own at home? Why not share your methods for getting him to do some work… laughing about it is the first step towards a genuine conversation about sharing the chores!